a message from Anonymous
Well, fortunately, there is no set time for how long you have before you come out. Don’t feel rushed or pressured to come out, it’s something that has to happen on your own time, when you’re absolutely sure. When you’re sure about who you are, when you’re sure you want people knowing that about you. It takes time. Don’t get discouraged by this.
I struggled with it a great deal in my teens… I had always known I was gay. Like you, I knew before I had ever been kissed or had ever been in a relationship too. However, I didn’t even really face it until I hit my second year of college. Growing up in a Christian, conservative household, it took me a long time to completely accept that being gay was a part of who I was and that it is okay. It was certainly a process for me. I told two close friends and then didn’t tell anyone else for about a year.
I got lucky, though. Everyone I’ve told has been completely 100% supportive. I was terrified to tell my family. I told my uncle first and I’ll never forget what he said, “There is something called unconditional love. There is nothing wrong with the way you are but even if someone has a problem with it, you are loved unconditionally.” Some have taken it better than others but everyone has been really supportive. I still have not told my father, though because like I said, it’s a process. Just take your time. You are young and have plenty of it.
I know that all of this can feel terrifying and awkward and confusing but just know that it’ll be okay. If nothing else, you’ve got me to talk to if you want to. Come off anon and I’ll help you personally or stay on anon and I’ll help you as best as I can. Good luck :)